So weird..

I feel weird again... At some time, I feel happy so much until I smile without knowing. But at another time, I feel so down, so hopeless, so sad....until I cann't drop any tears anymore.... I don't know myself again... I feel like I'm so far away to be called "human". There is something wrong with me. There must be it. 

A few minute ago, I feel I want to eat anything so much until my stomach very full but the thruth is my stomach doesn't feel any hunger for food. I like a doll without a soul. That's like I already lost it for a long time. Is it too weird for human like me to feel that way?... Am I going crazy? Am I going die someday without myself knowing about it?...

There isn't any sign and there is no parameter about how much my craziness is. Sometimes, I feel 'dead' is the best things for me but somewhere in my heart keep telling me that "that's not true! U must life and be strong!" but I wonder, for who I must keep alive? For the one who break me? For the one who doesn't love me? For the one who doesn't love me?...  From one day to another day, I keep searching for the answer but I still cann't found it. Is there any chance for me to find it? Before everything become so late to save me..