Brighter than gem! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Yeah, after two weeks fighting with myself. Up & Down, Up & down again and again. It's time to up again! Don't get me wrong, Life never flat so maybe there is a time I will be down again....... BUT! Don't always focus on bad things. (It's funny, even for me, that I can be sad, negative, happy & positive at the same time ┐(￣ー￣)┌. Stupid me...). Please don't blame me if I post something sad then happy post next. That's Life. I just posting what I'm feeling that time, ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ) (blog = diary (*´∀`*)).
Back to main topic. So now, I cheer up again! and begin to hav a plan about try a new recipe. I got a lot of hobby and one of them is cooking. If I have any free time, I use it for cooking. And two (or three?) days ago, I cooked this :

Spaghetti Carbonara ala chef Matteo

That recipe was so easy! U can do it urself at ur home quickly for a "delicious but not so hard" pasta!  (｡♥‿♥｡). (U can watch this video to know the recipe http://id.she.yahoo.com/mamma-mia-resep-spaghetti-carbonara-134100045.html. Really, It's simple! I cooked it after watched his video). And because I love pasta so much, I was happy while cooking this. My lovely sis love it too! We happily ate together (❁´◡`❁)*✲ﾟ*.
So for now, I quite interested in Paella. I searched for its recipe (delicious & easy recipe, of course!) here and there and finally found it!  All that's left now is the time to cook. I hope I can spare one time to cook it (˘ʃƪ˘).
Yeah that's just a simple plan but for me, it's enough to bright my day with getting excited to gather all of the ingredients & hav a new cooking experience, ヽ(○´∀`)ﾉ♪. Beside that, a few hours ago, I read some cute quotes (plus cute drawing! U guys will like it!) at http://chibird.com/. 

That pic above, slap me a little. I used to look down like that, several days ago, and yeah what I only see just the ground. I must gather all of my courage to keep my head high & think positively! (ง •̀_•́)ง. This good friend told me "Try not to make things so confusing for yourself." (Thank's to buffywrestling (づ￣ ³￣)づ). So I try and cheer up myself. I try to focus on the positive side, not negative side. I want to make myself more brighter than before, from inside and outside (˘ʃƪ˘). Yosh!! :D

I must be grateful, right?..........

For eveything that I hav.. for everything that He gave. I must be grateful & thank to God so many times. I must be positive, not rumbling so often, not feel sad for everything that i lost. For that wasted time..... i must be happy right? Smiling, cheer up and singing all the way. That I must be...right?... So why? My heart keeps telling me there is something wrong... like my heart been tied up, tightly. Is there any "leaking"? From inside..... empty or frozen?..... i must.............. be happy...........right?

Everyone has our own limit!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ

Wew, really, sometimes people didn't know about their own~suck~attitude! How can they made the same person mad again and again and again!???? (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻. I don't want to say it, but F*CK with them!! Is it wrong to be mad when we already got patience so many times!???? Honestly, I'm good enough not to kicked them on their ass or slap their face! But why, they keep doing it again!????
Is that why we have "angry"? Why they keep asking me and made me the one who responsible about it even that isn't my "job" from the beginning?? They keep asking to me like I'm a God who knows everything! I got my own life & time too. Arghhhhhhhhh, reallly......ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛. And my bf, sureeeeee he was a great~damned~clever person for always make me more angry then b4 and blame me for my attitude in the end, GREAT!!! I'm sure I want to kill him sometimes (◣_◢).

Then I realized, our world always judge someone by our "cover", our appearance, not what inside. Sorry, if this thing didn't have any connection to my grumble above. BUT, I feel hate for all of that hypocrite, sweet talker, drama queen and old rules! Why everyone feel so high to decided others life??? "u must do this... u must do that.... u must become like that..... ihh, that was stupid.... or why u like that??". Oh pleaseeeeee, did u not busy enough to always interfere in others life!???? Our God gives us a freedom to choose what we gonna take our life into. So why they keep complaining, commenting? Shit! I'm big enough to choose what I gonna do or what I want to do. I'm not a doll that always get played when u want.
I don't need anything. I just want that u go away and don't disturb my life for the rest of my life! Please. Don't add any more stress to my mind. Really, It sucks when u want a peace but what u get is a war :(